Lobotomy

I’m not kidding.

I told my friends:

This birthday I want no cake,

no books spread on my lap like eagles.

 

I want the operation;

that velvet blade,

that feather that dips and cuts.

 

I want to love

with sparking gelatin cubes in my head,

quivering

like lovers waiting

for the final dip and rub.

 

I want the operation.

I want to dip and rub

without seeing eyes

like cats under cars.

Without hearing voices

like the small smack of fish lips,

saying, I want to cry, but it’s been so long.

 

No joke.

I want the operation.

I want an even tan,

and a wetness like pinesap between my legs, forever.

Copyright 2018 Rachel A Levine